i'm not sure. this could be what ends up to be the final trip wrap up, or it could not. i just thought i'd jot a few things down here, now that i've been home a few days.
first off, i got this unbelievable jolt of wanderlust last night, totally unexpectedly. i was going to see a play, the first of three this week (i have to make up for lost time), and i had just come from my first shift back at work (just a half day). first off, i am really, really not looking forward to going back to work. one of my jobs isn't bad, but the thought of the other just kind of makes my skin crawl (for the purpose of self-preservation, i won't say which one is which, or even where i work for that matter). so it was a long half day, and i was looking forward to seeing some friends and going to the theatre.
the show itself wasn't bad. it wasn't great, and i had some problems with some of the acting and the staging (again, i'm not a reviewer, so i won't name names). but somewhere during act II (out of 3) i just really didn't want to be there. as in, not even in seattle. i just got terribly depressed at the thought of going back to my life and, in my mind, i starting listing out everything i would need to bring with me if i were to hit the road again, and what i could get away with selling or giving away in order to do so. this lasted most of the play until fatigue took over and i started falling asleep instead. that's the most consistent emotion i've felt since my return: fatigue. i think a lot of it is due to the time changes, since i still haven't been on west coast time for that long. as a result i get tired early, go to sleep, wake up early (i haven't been able to sleep past 8) and get tired early again. so that was an interesting night.
it seems to be an isolated incident thusfar (the wanderlust), but i'm still having some trouble transitioning back into real life. i've loved seeing my friends and being back in seattle, but when i've tried to wrap my head around everything i was doing before i left, and trying to start it all up again, my mind just starts spinning and i get totally overwhelmed. i know i need to give myself time to readjust, but the idea of readjusting into what i was doing before is very unappealing at the moment. when i was traveling, life was exceedingly simple. you had one primary objective and, when you weren't doing that, you didn't do anything. when i stopped i would just rest, maybe eat something, occasionally look at a map. that's it. now when i try to relax there are too many things i feel like i should be doing or thinking about. it's really got me thinking about the priorities in my life, and where everything falls. i don't have any answers yet, but i think these are good things to ponder.
as for official trip "wrap up" stuff, i think it was an unbridled success. first off, i completed it. i did it by myself, with a fair amount of problems. it wasn't just smooth sailing all the way, and i managed to work everything out and overcome the difficulties, physical and mental. not to be terribly cliche, but i have learned a lot about myself. not all of it positive, but useful information. like the camping thing. i don't necessarily do well alone. and that's ok. i need sensory stimulation. it's little lessons like this that have really stretched into other parts of my life, and have guided my thinking about how i want to prioritize, and what would and wouldn't work for me in terms of job, lifestyle, even where i live. so these are all good things.
i'm taking vixen in for her scheduled maintenance, even if i can't quite afford it. i'm already getting antsy not riding, and i would feel too guilty taking her out when she needs so much work. i still have a few things to settle from the trip and i could be very low in the coffers afterwards, but i'm prioritizing. my trip tattoo may just have to wait a little longer.
ok, i feel like i've rambled enough, and it seems to be mostly non-bike related, which is not the objective of this blog, so i'll stop now. if anything new comes up that seems directly related to the trip i'll post it, or maybe some more pictures from yellowstone or something. other than that i'm really not sure about the future of this blog. if everyday riding issues or stories come up and i feel compelled to post them i will, but i'm not sure how regularly that will be. either way, it was a blast, and i thank everyone for dutifully following along, or skimming, or just scanning for pictures and pretending you read it. it all means a lot.
until next time,
ride fast, take chances,
scott
No comments:
Post a Comment