Saturday, November 10, 2012

packing it in

forgive the next few weeks or so, i'm in the process of figuring out how i want to format this blog to keep it relevant, but also keep it focused (i don't want to just have a "this is my life!" blog). so there may be a few posts off-topic, or posted and then deleted, or who knows what else. it's all a big experiment anyway, right?

in seattle, we've decided to skip autumn. we had a few weeks, sure, but we've moved on to winter rather quickly. it seems that every night i am adding another blanket to my bed. this morning there was significant frost on the ground. unfortunately, this means we are coming to that time of year where riding days become scarce.

now i've commuted in the winter before. i really don't mind it. but with my current commute being on foot, it's a non-issue this year. it was last year too, but i didn't really accept that until it was too late and vixen was covered in a foot of snow for several weeks. this year i want to treat her right, if i can swing it. ideally this would mean moving her to bellevue for the season, where she can be garaged, but at the very least i want to cover her before we get any snow. ordinarily i wouldn't be worried about this until at least the end of november, but with the crazy weather going around, part of me wants to not take any chances and cover the old girl up now. of course, there are a few days in the near future where it would be very handy to have transportation... oh the conundrums of the urban biker.

this is where the balance comes in. i knew there would be challenges when i gave up my car, and really, it wouldn't be that different without vixen, because i would just be relying on the bus (have i mentioned how i loathe the bus?). so i might be breaking out the winter duds (which i haven't worn since my big trip). not the snazziest, but they do the trick. and if i'm actually going to be riding this winter, better comfortable than fashionable.

i think it will be good for me to ride more, especially this winter. i've been losing my connection with my bike, and what it means to be a motorcyclist (see last post) and, as i was musing on this, i came up with the term theoretical riding. theoretical riding is when you contemplate going somewhere, but talk yourself out of it, due to weather, gas, lack of destination, whatever. these are the times i lose connection. whenever i go for an actual ride, none of this matters, and i'm always glad i did. i feel like i am connected, not just with vixen, but with that part of myself, my identity. and that's a good feeling.

here's to more actual riding, and less theoretical.

rftc,

scott

Friday, November 2, 2012

further ruminations of a motorcyclist

since my last post i've been thinking a lot about what it means to be a motorcyclist, and how it fits into my life. toying with the idea of selling my bike is a little frightening, not just because i love her and would be sorry to give her up. it would represent a huge shift in how i identify myself.

i've realized just how much being a motorcyclist has helped shape my identity. many of my lifestyle decisions revolved around their practicality and/or use on bikes. my leather jacket is still my go-to, for instance. the other day when i didn't feel like wearing it, i realized i didn't really have another mid-weight jacket. over the years i've just gotten rid of everything else, because i never wore them.

this is just one example, but it's a good one to examine. the leather jacket is perhaps the most iconic piece of gear associated with bikers out there, both stylistically and practically. the fact that it has become my first and (almost) only jacket is telling to me. i've spent a long time honing my personal style, and much of it has, for better or worse, revolved around the jacket. i know much of this must seem superficial, and at times maybe it is, but feeling true to myself is very important to me, and the feeling of putting on airs or representing something i'm not is the number one way to make me uncomfortable in any given situation. and yes, clothing and style factor into this. i've posted before about the aesthetic of motorcycling, and for the most part i've used that aesthetic to help define my style. i do like it, but i feel it occasionally limits me. when you only have one choice, what do you do when it doesn't feel right?

i guess for me, all of these ideas; personal aesthetic, style, identity, are all wrapped up in one package. one could call it holistic identity. if i'm a motorcyclist, i'm a motorcyclist. if i'm not, then what am i doing dressing like one? i know, i'm horrible at compartmentalizing these different aspects of my life, but i can't really help it. further manifestations of my OCD. i can't be half one thing and half another, or my brain will force me to create a split and drive one out. does this mean i can't be a part-time motorcyclist? i'm not sure. but the longer i use it to define aspects of my identity, the harder it becomes to reverse the flow, and change that definition, even if it feels right.

i mentioned complacency in my last post as well, which is another fear of mine. i hate the idea of waking up one morning and discovering that i've phoned in the last 15 years, or even the last few months. i am constantly reevaluating my needs, passions, desires, because if i don't i fear i will no longer do things because i truly want to or need to, but because they are comfortable, easy, routine. i need to live consciously, every day, and this means making hard decisions, not taking anything for granted. i suppose the danger in this is dooming myself to a cycle of never being completely satisfied, but better constantly striving for fulfillment than being content with just-good-enough, right?

apparently, it's easy to get philosophical off the bike, too.

i sign off every post with "ride fast, take chances". i think occasionally i forget what this means when i write it. live deep, live purposefully. live intentionally. don't settle. don't give in, and never give up. it's the constant search for improvement, without sacrificing your enjoyment during the process. you can have everything on paper, but if you aren't enjoying it, what do you really have?

i think i need to go for a ride.

rftc,

scott